(The Witches of Eastwick) [PDF READ] ñ John Updike

L Amour Fou de Dieu yThese last two months to not read this book Things I did instead of reading The Witches of EastwickIn no particular order Joined a pool league Joined ANOTHER volunteer committee Slept in the middle of the day for no actual reason Re watched several cheesy chick flicks and dance movies Started and finished watching 3 seasons of Dance Academy and then started RE watching them Okay this ONE probably has something to do with Jordan Rodrigues as well Watched several episodes of Archer with the Beast Read at least 10 other books only three of which were time sensitive Buddy reads Went for walks a LOT of walks Went to Costco and the grocery store ON PURPOSE when we didn t need much of anything Went bathing suit shopping at the mall OoOkay I am going to assumeou get my point I found every excuse NOT to read this book because Updike s writing is distancing and his characters are extremely difficult nay IMPOSSIBLE to give a shit about I am lost as to what even is the point of this bookThere are three witchy women doing magic of varying degrees and having copious affairs with married men there is death and destruction there is selfishness cruelty and the skeevy underbelly of humanity s tendency to judgment and heartlessness BUT it all amounts to nothing It doesn t mean anything And Updike s writing is so bland that the characters just sort of zombie walk around while all this is going on without any depth or comprehension Sukie Alexandra and Jane never come to life and it s extremely disappointing I sincerely hope that my horrible book slump will be over now that I am done THISFUCKINGBOOK Category A book with magic High Hopes will almost always set a reader up for a fall The excitement of chosing a book THIS book to begin my month Witches and spells to celebrate the Halloween spirit of OctobersighHaving never seen the film or read any Updike novels before I really did not know what to expect I only knew that I expected great things And sadly this novel did not deliver many great things at allsighA little over two weeks spent trying to get into a novel that is only 306 pages long That s an average of about 150 pages week That s an average of 21 pages a day That s an awful average Wanna know what s even worse than that average The fact that whole days went by without me even WANTING to pick this book up again when I first started it The characters were not really likable I could not find anyone that I felt connected to or at least even slightly cared about Updike has this uncanny way of making them all ugly even if they are supposedly attractive Pointing out every flaw though he went much easier on the woman The poor men characters in this book never stood a chance All are balding bad breathed hairy knuckled sweating things GrossHis idea of what women want what women talk about and how women act around each other was completely off base And coarse And he likened things about a womans body and attitude to things that didn t even make sense To things that made me cringe and grimace It was uite painful at times Imagine taking one of those eye clops toys they sell for the kids now that are like a microscope and can project images onto the television screen Updike uses the same format placing all the knicks and warts and liver spots and hallitosis out there for the whole world to read At about the 23rds mark I found myself finally engaged in the novel and reading through the pages much uicker trying to find out just where Updike was going to leave these three witches and their wacky zany neighbor 100 pages devoured esterday Amazing Will I be reading any other novels by Updike after this slightly disappointing introduction to his work Sadly I may just pass Am I happy to have read it Eh Jury is out on that one at this time Would I recommend it to someone Well I did give it 3 stars after all So I suppose if someone told me they were looking for a book that involved horribly flawed witches and wasn t so much focused on the witchyness of those witches then ok I could recommend this to them But I would have to be certain that they weren t looking for anything great Because then I would setting them up for a anything great Because then I would setting them up for a I must confess that I was hoping that this book would be a lightfluffyfun read I really loved the movie and was looking forward to some light hearted revenge to ease the aching in my brain Unfortunately for me and my brain the only things from this book that made it into the movie were the three witches the horrible rich man wasn t Jack Nicholson just perfect in this roletotally disgusting but still Jackyou gotta love him and the game of tennis Okay maybe some other stuff too but not much This novel is to its movie what Wicked by Gregory Maguire is to its musical Deep and Dark vs Warm and FuzzyThat being said it was still a good book Something darker that takes all Warm and FuzzyThat being said it was still a good book Something darker that takes all faults physical or otherwise and displays them right out in the light A view from the other side of the fence ou know the side where the people we all judge live Here are these people and they re doing these bad things and look here are the reasons they do them Not really good reasons but still reasons And then how they feel afterwards The way Updike writes or wrotewe lost a great writer this Signaler un problème yearou can put Un monstre dans les céréales yourself in their shoesI don t think I have ever heard or will ever hear again a better justification for a woman who sleeps with married men Still not totally justified but with this explanationou have to say Yeah I can see that Reminds me a little of Watchmenpeople with powers are still people after all with all the character flaws but maybe natural reactions are harder to suppress like picking up a Faberge egg with super harder to suppress like picking up a Faberge egg with super Super powers don t come with super control Wishing the barking dog across the street would just shut up and die doesn t end with a dead dog but if it didwould Nam you be able to controlourself at two in the morning during a bout of insomnia and menstrual crampsUpdike s descriptives were really potent and he seemed to have a pretty good idea of how the female brain operates even if he didn t present us in the best light So over all a pretty good read even though the ending of the book really makes the feminist in me go What But my feminist side is pretty small so I ll have to read The Widows of Eastwick to see what Mr Updike had in mind for us I mean the characterssee what I mean about putting Painting Landscapes from Your Imagination yourself in their shoes 26ears laterFavorite uote It was nice to have Lippenbekenntnisse yourself known by a man it was getting to be known that was embarrassing all that self conscious verbalization over too many drinks and then the bodies revealed with the hidden marks and sags like disappointing presents at Christmastime But how much of love whenou thought about it was not of the other but of Chasing McCree Chasing McCree yourself naked in his eyes of that rush that little flight of sheddingour clothes and being ou at last. Ck breezes Darryl Van Horne a charismatic magus of a man who entrances the trio luring them to his mansio. ,

John Updike ê 6 Summary

For Whom The Bell Tolls
Comes to writing skills and he s doing everything pretty smoothly here aphorisms characters vibrancy plot vividness The stuff is alive You can see it all happening in our mind s eye I was in Connecticut and the book is set in Rhode Island though one Yankee beach town is about the same as another I reckon I ve been to enoughBut there s something very charming no pun intended about reading the lives of some pretty sexy MILFs who have some magical powers spunky libidos and a whole bunch of whistful ruminations about the passage of time and the sagging bounty of outhFun uick a real pleasure to read and kinda hot to bootOnly reason I really gave it two stars rather than three or four the above criteria is than enough to put it up there is because ultimately that s pretty much all I can say about it Not much to take away from this one I say sincewellI haven t actually taken much away from it than merely this I wish I loved anything as much as John Updike loved the sight of his own words on the page The Witches of Eastwick has A Point To Make about the role of women in white middle class 1960s America And it makes this point by embracing one of history s oldest conceits independent women are evil They re witches And while the magical divorc es of Eastwick aren t burned at the stake of accused of turning oung men into toads they come close to the mid twentieth century version thereof Accused of being the town bicycles which is exactly the kind of term the scared compliant housewives of Eastwick would use for them lusted after by married men whispered about in polite circles and uninvited to the society parties They use their magic which Wachten op Apollo yes is literal and real not a metaphor to get a leg up in a tennis match or to play frightening pranks on the people who gossip about them rather than following in the footsteps of their Salem and England predecessors by acting as midwives and abortionists The three witches Alexandra the sculptor Jane the musician and Sookie the writer don t give a fuck what the town thinks of them They gained their powers by freeing themselves from the bonds of traditional marriage a point which makes way sense in 1965 than it does now when most American marriages are approaching gender euality And thus powerful and freed they pursue their art and pleasure hedonistic delights their stuffy enemies might say to the neglect of their personal reputations who fucking cares anyway their entirely besotted boyfriends which is part of the point in their joyful sleeping around and their childrenWhich brings us right around to the forceful shoving of a metaphor down the reader s throat These women are terrible mothers Not only are they total floozies who have disrespected the sacred nuclear family but they suck at taking care of their kids who appear only as peripheral characters only one of the ten or so kids between the three witches is even named Witches divorc es sluts bad moms DO YOU GET IT YET DO YOU GET THE POINT JOHN UPDIKE IS MAKING IT S SOCIAL COMMENTARY YOU GUYS If I sound annoyed it s because I am This book could ve been so brilliant Instead it was about a third too long just because of the author s penchant for writing around in circles And while the dialogue was beautifully natural and entertaining the characters fully realized and individual it was clear that this book about three unusual anti authoritarian first wave feminist women was written by a man A man who is obsessed with the bodies of women Boobs specifically I don t mind gratuitous nudity in books I dig A Song of Ice and Fireou know It wasn t that a weekly naked hot tub orgy was a regular occurrence in this book It was the way the naked hot tub orgy was described It this book It was the way the naked hot tub orgy was described It the mid century literary euivalent of girl on girl porn filmed for the male gaze I don t know how else to put my finger on it But it annoyed me You know what else annoyed me Daryl Van Horn the witches male counterpart Despite not having any magic I guess he could count as a warlock Though the point of his character seemed to be Look at all this crazy shit a man can get away with that would get a woman metaphorically burned "At The Metaphorical Stake The Witches Flock "the metaphorical stake The witches flock him at first reluctantly and then eagerly as his crazy eccentricity rears its head He delights in their company because as we come to learn they are everything he wishes he could be even though he has all the money freedom and societal power that will never be available to them But what bothers me about the relationship between Van Horn and the witches their group relationship and his caring individual relationships with each of them is how we re set up to believe these women are totally self sufficient with built in bullshit detectors who keep themselves aloof from caring about anything except their art and their coven And Criminal Juries in the 21st Century: Psychological Science and the Law (American Psychology-Law Society Series) yet they re totally taken in by Van Horn It s clear to the reader as soon as he steps on the page that he s a fucking con artist Andet the witches are having too much fun with their tennis and their orgies and running around his giant mansion of a house to notice that he is not at all what he says he is If these witches are supposed to be so smart why do they fall all over themselves for Van Horn I will say one last thing in the author s favor A great novel is about change Things on the last page should not be the same as they were on the first page This was JK Rowling s big failure but it is not John Updike s I won t spoil the ending for Callisthnie - La musculation globale you but it was gratifying and natural and managed to maintain the integrity of the witches central premise without keeping them trapped in the cycle created through the plotI desperately wanted to love this book and to an extent I loved the main characters But it failed to stick the landing And I realized that when I found myself skimming Van Horn s last lengthy pointless diatribe before he left the book forever I m suprised by all the reviews of this book that speak of Updike s ability to get and fully understand women because that seemed to me to be the most blatantly lacking part of this novel There is not one redeemable female character in this novel All of the women are vapid vacuous and often than not cruel indifferent and self absorbed I am not being prudish I m not suggesting that every female character should be a paradigm of female virtue but what is Updike saying about women when all the female characters in this novel are largely abhorrent Awful mothers U is for Updike 1 I would like to go back and never purchase this StarIt s notou it s me You know what It IS ou it is 100% YOU Updike This book is AWFUL There are so many attempts to make this book edgy that it came off entirely underwhelming I mean it took me over 2 months just to finish it for fuck s sake A 300 page novel two months That is actually unheard of for me I found every reason under the sun of which there has been lots. Omestic peace Jane Alexandra and Sukie divorced and dangerous have formed a coven Into the void of Eastwi. .
Man this dude Updike sure can drive a truck less endowed guys often like to drive around in the biggest trucks they can find making up for that la I m generally a fan of Updike s writing despite its tendency to flirt with misogyny but this novel of his is barely readable Conceptually it was a fascinating idea and I can only assume it was the concept rather than the actual novel that triggered the idea for the movie Ugh I did not enjoy this book Read it for a class otherwise I probably wouldn t have finished it As it was the boyfriend had to endure some outraged ranting The characters were flat in the extreme when they weren t being petty bitches And the message Maybe I was reading it wrong but the message I got was that women are only powerful when they don t have men Doesn t matter if they leave the men or the men leave them All that matters is the absence Then when they have that power they will use it to do petty and awful things They will also sleep around because even though being without men is what gave them the power in the first place they certainly can t actually be happy without men in their lives They will spend their days gossiping and neglecting their children entirely even though they seem to do absolutely nothing else with their lives Then when their idiocy leads them to do something truly reprehensible they will decide that they were better off with husbands in the first place and go off and get married thus surrendering all their powers and negating the whole point Wow I feel positively inspired John Updike I don t think ou and I are friends In fact I think I will be avoiding ou for the foreseeable future My introduction to the fiction of John Updike is The Witches of Eastwick and based on 111 pages it s going to take Elizabeth Montgomery wiggling her nose for me to pick up one of the author s books again Published in 1984 this literature is set in a uaint Rhode Island town described down to the flowers or carpeting where three bewitching women described down to their facial features and dialects become involved with a brutish bachelor named Darryl Van Horne Some might even say he s the devil Of the 1000 approaches to that story Updike s is so pontifical and pumped up with its own magnificence that it ceases to be ridiculous and just becomes unreadableSet in the late 1960s where there is no love lost between the author and those kids growing their hair long protesting the war and listening to those damn Beatles records the title characters are Alexandra Spofford Jane Smart and Sukie Rougemont divorcees or widows who ve all shacked up with seemingly every able bodied man in Eastwick Artisan musician and writer the witches of Eastwick are less committed to their craft creative craft or witch craft of which Lexa seems the most talented as much as they re casting for their next male conuest They re each repulsed by Van Horne the swarthy super rich New Yorker but all attracted to him as wellLet me start with what this novel is not This novel is not progressive in its portrayal of liberated women with Van Horne breaking up the Thursday coven meetings the three women hold weekly Their development hinges on their relationship to various men They re not independent enough to see through Van Horne s wealth or have the self respect to reject his mansplaining Don Draper would approve of Van Horne s opinions on gender studies This novel is not horror or fantasy fiction in any reliable way and not particularly paranormal though Lexa can alter the weather and will her enemies into acts of bad luck And finally this novel is not readable She returned to putting up Mason jars of spaghetti sauce sauce for spaghetti than she and her children could consume even if bewitched for a hundred ears in an Italian fairy tale jar upon jar lifted steaming from the white speckled blue boiler on the trembling singing round wire rack It was she dimly perceived some kind of ridiculous tribute to her present lover a plumber of Italian ancestry Her recipe called for no onions two cloves of garlic minced ancestry Her recipe called for no onions two cloves of garlic minced sauteed for three minutes no no less that was the magic in heated oil plenty of sugar to counteract acidity a single grated carrot pepper than salt but the teaspoon of crumbled basil is what catered to virility and the dash of belladonna provided the release without which virility is merely a murderous congestion All this must be added to her own tomatoes picked and stored on every window sill these weeks past and now sliced and fed to teh blender ever since two summers ago Joe Marino had begun to "Come Into Her Bed A "into her bed a fecundity had overtaken the staked plants out in the side garden where the southwestern sun slanted in through the line of willows each long afternoon The crooked little tomato branches pulpy and pale as if made of cheap green paper broke under the weight of so much fruit there was something frantic is such fertility a crying out like that of children frantic to please Of plants tomatoes seemed the most human eager and fragile and prone to rot Picking the watery orange red orbs Alexandra felt she was cupping a giant lover s testicles in her hand She recognized as she labored in her kitchen the something sadly menstrual in all this recognized as she labored in her kitchen the something sadly menstrual in all this bloodlike sauce to be ladled upon the white spaghetti The fat white strings would become her own white fat This female struggle of hers against her own weight at the age of thirty eight she found it increasingly unnatural In order to attract love must she deny her own body like a neurotic saint of old Nature is the index and context of all health and if we have an appetite it is there to be satisfied satisfying thereby the cosmic order Yet she sometimes despised herself as lazy in taking a lover of a race so notoriously tolerant of corpulenceThere are longer paragraphs in The Witches of Eastwick and shorter paragraphs but this is representative of Updike s focus which isn t on character or storytelling but on his own brilliance at turning a word It s writing that is uite pleased with itself and satisfied with how well it has women figured out Despite the publishing date this feels like a relic of the Swinging Sixties A film adaptation released in 1987 took place in the present day and starred Jack Nicholson Cher Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer Nicholson s charms and special effects are the focus while the relegation of the female characters to fashion accessories are a holdover from the obtuse book I read this book the way it ought to be read or at least in the circumstances which are best suited for itI was away at a beach house for a weekend in the middle of summer and had pretty much nothing to do but lollygag around smoke cigarettes and read this bookIt s perfect for sunny clear skies and long hours drinking lemonade by the ocean The writing is crisp uick and clear Updike s pretty much encyclopedic when it. The air of Eastwick breeds witches women whose powerful longings can stir up thunderstorms and fracture ,

The Witches of Eastwick